Thoughts of a Rambler

Had been to the doctor today. There were many people already queued up. So, i decided to catch up on some pending work and took my laptop inside the doc’s office. I was going to work on some local documents and wasn’t interested in the popup which said that there were some wirless networks in range. Out of curiosity, i decided to check out the available networks and guess what the name of the network was….

Look at the people around them. Look at where they are “all” staring. Why are we so obsessed with celebrities ?

What do the above lines mean to you?
If you are a follower of/believer in the vedas, you would recognise the above as lines from rig veda and would start on trying the understand the meaning conveyed by the lines. If you are a quizzer, you would look at these lines as a probable source of esoteric questions which you as the quiz master would only ever know. But, if you are an expecting parent, then these lines would be a treasure trove of possible unpronounceable names which you would carefully note down in your “Big book of names for my baby”!
This is where Confuso-Kiddo-Name-o-graphy, the art of getting confused by writing down too many baby names, comes into the picture. Recently, my friends had a kid and when we visited them in the hospital, i saw a fat book lying beside the bed. On picking it up and looking inside (i didn’t see the cover), i saw lot of strange words and their meanings. I was wondering as to why she was reading Rosenblum’s word-list for GRE. Then, on seeing the cover , i realised that it was not the rosenblum book, but a book on Hindu baby names written by “I-shall-unlock-all-the-cages-in-zoos” Menaka Gandhi.
The book was in fact, more confusing that a GRE word list. I guess what Menaka would have done is to copy over the english transliterations of all the holy writings of Hinduism into Excel, then sorted them and then added a random meaning to each one of them. Well, a normal person wouldn’t anyway know what a name such as “Caksusa” really meant. He would just go by what is written in the book. It must be the easiest book she must have ever written!
Sometimes, being born an Indian has many disadvantages – for the parents. They have the unfortunate task of naming the child according to zillions of naming conventions. Imagine if the child is Cypriot, they have just few names like Andreas, Christos, Nicos and the feminine forms of them. So, it is pretty easy to choose amongst them. Parents who are a bit religious and want to do things the traditional way would rely upon numerology, the baby’s horoscope, vaastu (the location where the baby was delivered and the direction the mom was facing when delivering the baby) , vedic mathematics and few other dozen rules. After doing all the above calculations, if they end up with a restriction that the name should start with the letter “Q” or “X”, they immediately turn modern and name the child Pinky, Rocky, Sweety etc.
Americans have it easier still. They can name their children bush, gate, forest or based on practically any word taken from a regular dictionary. Take the case of Tiger Woods. Earl and Kutilda, tiger woods’ parents were going for a walk in the remote forests of Vietnam. Kutilda was heavily pregnant at that time. When they went around a corner, Earl suddenly saw what he thought was a tiger and yelled out “There is a tiger in the woods”. Kutilda went into a shock and delivered a healthy baby. Considering it a good sign, they named the child “Tiger Woods”.
Back to our case – We Indians have to consider a lot of things other than the above mentioned factors in naming a child.

• In today’s global village, we have to even consider how americans would react to the name. What if the name was “Manish Bhatt”. Americans would be talking about Manish’s butt whenever they refer to him. We can’t even name our kids with our favourites like Raghunathan Ramakrishnan or Somasundaram Pattabbiraman, as americans find it difficult to pronounce anything more than 2 syllables.
• We also have to think about the possible nicknames that could arise from the name when your kid goes to college. If there are many possible nicknames, rest assured that the one with the most vulgar meaning will be the one with which your child is christened in college.
• You also have to attend french classes, german classes and classes of few other popular languages to check if the name you have thought of doesn’t have any unintended meanings in these languages.

After all this confusion, many parents give up and name their kid some shit, i mean Samchit!

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I don’t usually post email forwards, but this one seemed useful and interesting to know too.

Hotel Saravana Bhavan started in Chennai in the year 1981 (almost as old as me!) with the K.K.Nagar branch. We moved to K.K.Nagar in the year 1990 and from the first time i tasted the famous Saravana Bhavan sambhar, there was no looking back. I was addicted to it.
Back then, when there was no concept of pocket money/allowance, it was hard work trying to “collect” enough money for a visit to the hotel. There was a tacit understanding with my mom that any “unattended” coin with a value of <= 1 rupee could be claimed by me as mine. There were other sources of income too. I would always immediately respond to anyone's call for help in recovering coins which would have fallen behind tables/shelves. I would attempt (or rather attempt to attempt) to recover those coins, but ensure that i make back-breaking groans and moans when i do so. This would immediately prompt my mom to say "It's ok. Leave it if you cannot reach it" and the coin would be forgotten. But the location would be promptly stored in my mind and when the time/need arrived, i would go over and, with the slightest of ease, recover the valuable 50 paise. So, once i had collected 7 rupees (the price of a sada dosa back then), I would run over to Saravana Bhavan and enjoy a sada dosa with the three types of Chutney, the sambhar and the Molaga Podi. Pure Bliss!
But, when my brother started growing older, there was competition for the stray coins. My mom, realising the rising inflation along with the competition from my brother, increased the threshold of coins defined as “stray” to 2 rupees! So, from then on, the only hotel i swore by, the only hotel which i considered worth visiting has always been Saravana Bhavan.
So, it is no surprise that i look forward to this whenever i visit Chennai. I was in Chennai last week and had been to Saravana Bhavan. Then began the ordeal!
It was around 7 in the evening and the place was full of people. So, it was tough to find a place. I had to wait a few minutes to find one empty seat on a table of four. But, considering the humidity in Chennai in summer, this place was a wrong choice as it was far away from the reach of the ceiling fans. So, i didn’t place my order and was on the lookout for a better table. To my luck, a place on the other side of the room (just below a fan) was vacated. So, i jumped up and walked across the room. But, it looked like i was not the only one with this idea. Another guy, who was unfortunately nearer, occupied this seat before i could go over. Disappointed, i turned back to go to my place. But, even this was gone now as it was forcible occupied by the family on the next table who decided to give a separate chair to a child not even tall enough to reach the table. No wonder there is so much competition in India for everything! So, i was back on the waiting list. Luckily, all this action was seen by a waiter who was kind enough to come over and volunteer to find a good place for me. True to his words, he found a good seat – right under the fan. After thanking him a lot, i sat down to enjoy a good meal.
Now, i had to order stuff. In the past, when i had been on month long home leaves, i usually start ordering based on the serial number on the menu and go one by one. But this time, I was in India for just a week and it was already the 4th day into this week. So, this concept would not work. I had to go for plan B which was to either choose according to my likes or according to availability. If i were to go based on my liking, it had to be one of the dosas accompanied by the sambar. What i meant by “availability” is the probability of getting that particular item back in Cyprus. Yes, we do get Dosas in the Keralam restaurant in Cyprus, but i have to drive a 100 kms and pay a humongous 14 dollars for a single masala dosa, but theoretically, dosas are available and so they are out of consideration. Then, it had to be the famous Parotta kurma. So, i ordered it. You can never have only one dish in saravana bhavan. So, for the next item, i chose the 14 idli sambhar dish. Nowadays, you might have to request for a magnifying dish as an accessory to see the “mini” idlis. The main course was done. A dinner at Saravana Bhavan is always finished with the famous “Masala Milk”, yellow in colour with the “paal edu” (that which many hate to have in their glass of milk, but which i love!) floating on top.
So, after having ordered for the Masala Milk, i went over to the wash basin. When i returned, the inevitable happened. My seat was gone, taken over by the next saravana bhavan enthusiast. Now, do i just leave and hope that my bill will be paid by this guy? But, i havent had my glass of masala milk!! There is no way I am going to leave without it. So, not knowing what to do, i slowly wander near by hitherto seat. The friendly waiter comes into the picture again, smiles and offers another seat and even brings over my water glass to my new seat.
One hour and three seat changes later, i finish my dinner. Yes, it was an ordeal, but it was worth every bit.

Yes, it is official now. Rahul Sharad Dravid, the ace Indian cricketer has officially changed his name to Drahul Dravid. Drahul called a media conference yesterday and announced this to the world. A few days back, Rahul Dravid and his family had gone to their native temple in Indore, Madhya Pradesh for this name-changing ceremony.

Okay, they are not blonde, but they do represent what “dumb blondes” are supposed to be famous for – their dumbness. Yesterday’s episode of “Kya Aap Panchvi pass sey tez hai” was a special episode with stars from TV soaps making their appearance on the show and wining money for charity.
Sarah Khan(Sadhna) and Parul Chauhan (Ragini) of “Sapna Babul Ka….Bidaai” were on first and right from the start, they seemed to be perfect candidates to fail a 5th class exam. Usually on the show, insets are shown about the educational achievements of the participants to embarrass them further if they don’t answer a question. But, this was not the case for these two. Maybe, the producers knew that even after “preparing” them for the show, they would make a fool of themselves, that he decided not to embarrass them further. Or, they became models at such an early age that they didn’t have time to complete class 5. How else would you explain the following responses:
Question 1 – Find the number of common nouns beginning with the letter “B” in the following sentence: In Bombay, I met Billoo with a basket in a blue bus.
So, the stars (the two girls) start thinking aloud. Parul says, “Basket and bus must be the two common nouns”. But, the smarter Sara says, “What about Bombay, it is a common place, so it must be a common noun”!!!!
The producers then realised that their questions would prove too tough for this pair, but it was too late. Maybe they should have put Timbuktoo instead of Bombay, then Sara would have said, “Timbuktoo is not such a common place, so it cannot be a common noun”

Question 2 – Neil Armstrong was the first person on the moon. Which country does he belong to?
Parul is quite confident and she says “America”. Shah Rukh, who is aware of their dumbness, wants to take them for a ride and says, “That is the name of the continent. I am looking for the name of the country”. Immediately, the smart Sara says, “New York?”. Shah Rukh then realises that any further discussion would embarrass the entire TV fraternity, so he accepts America and closes the question.

Question 3 – Which is the only mammal which can fly like a bird?
Parul, who has until now been overshadowed in being dumb by Sara, decides to take matter into her own hands and confidently says, “Kangaroo”. Shah Rukh, desperately containing his laughter, goes to the center of the stage and imitates the movement of a Kangaroo and asks, “Are you sure that a Kangaroo flies like a bird?”.

The producers by then had decided that they had had enough of this smart duo and decided to end their round and call on the next group. Now, i realise why TV soaps are so slow and prolong each and every scene. It is not the intention of the director, but it is the adaptability of the TV stars that is the problem. They seem to be so dumb that it takes them forever to understand and show an expression and the director has no other choice, but to capture the entire thing on camera!

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Why do i conclude so? Because i “feel” so. When Chennai Super Kings lost their matches, i felt bad and was wondering as to what they could have done better. When the Chennai team gets a wicket, i applaud and feel happy, though that wicket might be a player whom i would love to watch any other day.
This was what the organisers of IPL wanted, this was what Lalit Modi would have hoped for and it has happened. IPL has become an addiction. I spend seven hours both days of the weekend watching both the matches. Somehow, my earlier argument that 20-20 matches are just 3 hrs long doesn’t seem to hold good with Vidhya any longer and i get admonished every time i put on the channel to watch IPL.
No, I was never a cricket-crazed person. I love to play cricket and given an opportunity, i don’t mind playing it all day. But, watching cricket for extended periods not for me. I consistently used to fall asleep on the sofa between the 15th and the 40th overs of an innings.
I was never a fan of test cricket with the exception of Ashes. Getting up at odd hours of the night to watch the first ball being bowled in the boxing day test match, that is something only a true cricket fan would understand! Maybe it is the green grounds, maybe it is the telecast quality, maybe it is the commentary team, i don’t know the reason, but i can watch the entire three sessions of an ashes test match without taking a break. The other test matches, i care a damn. An india-sri lanka match happening in Jaipur, chennai wherever, I just hear about it from friends. At the other end, there are people (there are!) who watch the ball-by-ball commentary on cricinfo of even Ranji trophy matches! I wouldn’t even recognise the names of most of the guys on the team.
But, IPL is different. The cricket is entertaining (not just the cheerleaders), it is fast and furious. The new talent knocking on the national team would surely give the jitters to the experienced indian players. I am addicted to IPL. What about you ?
and …Chennai Super Kings rock!

I am currently in Dubai on a short vacation! Thank goodness that Cyprus celebrates Easter yearly, so that i get an opportunity for a mini-vacation.

The vacation in Dubai got off to a good start. This is what i have been “experiencing” in Dubai: Saravana Bhavan’s Idly, Vada, Sambhar; sangeetha’s mini-tiffin; Woodlands’ rava Dosai and Pongal and of course the must-have masala-milk.

No, i am not on an epicurean vacation, but a trip to dubai cannot escape the delicacies that these south-indian restaurants have to offer. I go to Chennai yearly, but i don’t feel the same there. maybe it is because of the fact that there are only two restaurants (that i know of ) near my house: Saravana bhavan and Data Udipi and they are more than half a km away from my house and it would involve a short drive rather than a walk to get these. But, in Dubai, in the the place when my in-laws live, all of them (yes, all of them) are just at their doorstep. All i have to do is to use the lift to go down from the 1st floor (why waste energy) ans then walk right into any of the restaurants.

But, it is not so easy. One’s brain easily gets clouded and confused when given so many options. Imagine trying to answer a multiple-choice question with more than 10 answers! So, i have decided to make it easy for my brain. I started 2 days back with the first one on the road and then moved on the next one yesterday and so on. But, there is another problem like today for example. I went into woodlands today and wasn’t very satisfied with the sambhar given along with Pongal and regretted a lot that i had passed over saravana bhavan for this one. But, rules have to be followed and there is no way i am going back to saravana bahavan until i finish with the last restaurant down the road and start over with the loop again.