New Telangana state: a blow to the tamil gaana song industry

To hell with the new state! I am really pissed off with the decision to form the new state. As a proud Tamilian, i am hurt by this decision of the congress government.

Until now, Tamil Nadu held the monopoly over “gaana pattu” and “dappan kuthu”  songs. But that is threatened now with the formation of a new state – Telangana – whose revenue model has been conceived on the production of telugu gaana songs. Many, including the famed Burkha Dutt of NDTV, believe that there are political motivations behind the split of Andhra Pradesh. Little do they understand the sentiments of the common man and his needs.

There are multiple implications of this proposed split of Andhra Pradesh into Telangana and Andhra/2 Pradesh

• The telugu gaana industry will start making more money than the Andhra fake certificate industry. There are multiple implications of this
  • The number of graduates/post-graduates/certificate holders from Andhra will drastically reduce and thus open up opportunities for Marathis, thus pleasing HIM , thus reducing riots in maharashtra, thus leading to a reduction in burnt vehicles, thus leading to a reduction in insurance claims, thus making more profits for the insurance cartel, which is not good!
  • The number people with high percentage of marks in their graduation going to the US of A for higher studies will reduce, which will lead to a reduction of staff available for work in Andhra restaurants in California, thus leading to the closure of many such restaurants, thus leading to more people flocking to Punjabi restaurants, thus leading to more people eating Aloo Parathas, thus leading to more south indians startingto resemble the big punjabis (post marriage), which is not good.
• DJs in clubs will start belting out more telugu gaana hits than tamil folk songs and bhangra songs. Don’t ever have a doubt about the popularity of gaana songs. Even my daughter, Akshara, prefers gaana and kuthu songs over ghazals. She has even mastered the vijaykanth dance mode of sit/stand/put your hands on the head routine!
• YS Jagan Reddy, the son of late chief minister of Andhra pradesh, YS Rajsekhara Reddy, will stand to lose over 1500 crores. The logic is that YS jagan Reddy made 3000 crores  allegedly by devious means.  Now, if Telangana splits, the new politicians in telangana would obviously ask for a share of the loot as they would lose out on the kitty of 1500 crores that they can make.

Now, how do we patriotic tamilians address this serious issue?

• Pass a bill immediately in the Tamil Nadu assembly to get the word “gaana” patented such that only original tamil kuthu songs can be associated with the word “gaana”. At the same time, a memo should be sent to the centre and HIM in maharashtra clarifying that this word “gaana” has nothing to do with the Hindi word “gaana”. This has to be done before a press release is done about the patent lest Tamilians start getting beaten up by bollywood gangs.
• Arrange for a secret deal with Hyderabad and outsource the production of Biryanis to Chennai. This would infuriate the telangana politicians as one of their main reasons for asking Hyderabad was for its biryani. If the biryani were outsourced to Chennai, telanga would lose their interest in Hyderabad and thus it would reduce their access to studios capable of producing gaana songs in hyderabad.

if you can think of other ideas to help the tamil cause, do add them in the comments!