Did harbhajan say maaki or monkey to Andrew Symonds?

Now the issue is whether Harbhajan Singh said maaki (in Hindi) or monkey (in English) to Andrew Symonds. To the casual reader, this issue might see very trivial and not worth the exposure it is getting. But, there is lot more to it than is visible on the surface.

Harbhajan had indeed referred to Symonds as a monkey, but he wasn’t aware that this would be considered racist. So, his team of lawyers along with BCCI had decided to take the approach that Harbhajan had in fact referred to Symonds as a white monkey and not a black monkey, but the Indians didn’t know how the australian legal team would twist the case to a racism abuse. So, for the past two days they were investigating alternatives for their defense.

This somehow leaked to the media and they started talking about it on television. One person who was watching this felt that he could help the Indian team in this situation. He was Javed Akhtar, the noted bollywood lyricist and scriptwriter. He felt that he could help because he was so much into writing rap crap in english for bollywood movies, that he could definitely could come up with some alibi in English for Harbhajan.

So, Javed Akhtar started searching for homonyms for monkey in English. The only one he could come up with was mucky. But mucky meant dirty and australians would consider this more offensive than monkey as they were known for maintaining cleanliness by covering all the dirt on their faces with sun-screen lotion.

Then, out of the blue, an idea struck him. Why not look for a homonym in hindi? It was much easier to form words out of the given syllables. So, the first word he got was makki, meaning a fly. But, he didn’t want to use this, as he wanted to bring the australians down to earth and not on cloud nine like a fly. Javed was frustrated and the team working with him started swearing at Harbhajan, as he was the one responsible for all this mess.

Like all hindi speaking people, Javed started referring to all the relatives of Harbhajan as he started swearing. The moment he said “Saala Uske Maa Ki” , a BCCI member jumped up from his chair and shouted “Eureka, monkey mil gaya”. Then, Javed realised what he had said and jumped up in joy.

Thus, the indian defense panel decided to use “Maa Ki” as an alibi. And the rest is history…Harbhajan was not charged with racism as swearing at one’s mother or any other relative, in Australia was all in a day’s work for their citizens.

QED.

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