Everyone is talking about it, every news channel has a debate on it, whole of India is talking about few kilometres of sand somewhere in the middle of Palk Strait between Sri Lanka and India called Ram Setu (or Ram Sethu in some cases). This sand bar is mythologically supposed to be the bridge that Lord Rama built to cross over to Sri Lanka in search of Sita.
What i don’t understand is none of the TV channels ever called me to take my opinion. How can they not take the opinion of RajaRam Sethuraman!! My name is in the midst of this entire controversy (or the other way around, whatever!) and no one asks me for my opinion! The next time, you hear Karunanidhi asking which engineering college Ram studied in, just say to him that it was in BITS Pilani and I am sure that he won’t say anything more.
Not many know that I am a direct descendant of Lord Rama and that it why I am named so. Unfortunately, there is not enough freedom of speech in India for someone like Dan Brown to write about Ram’s bloodline like he wrote about Jesus’ bloodline in the Da Vinci Code. But why, you may ask, am i a dravidian now when Lord Rama was an Aryan? Elementary, my friend! It gets damn cold in Ayodhya in the winter months and my ancestors decided to move down south to the much warmer areas. So, in all aspects, I am a dravidian now.
Looking back, i regret ever being an Aryan. They do whatever they can to put down the dravidians. Yes, Rama the king existed (how else would i be here now!) and an evil Sri Lankan had indeed kidnapped his wife. So, Rama had travelled down south to rescue his wife. But, centuries later when Valmiki decided to put this story on paper (or whatever was the equivalent at that time), he wanted to add glamour to the story and in doing so, the true nature of aryans came to the fore. Why else would he write thus “Rama marched south and took the help of the monkeys to cross over to Lanka”! Did only monkeys live in the south? or were rama’s forces primitive enough to know only to communicate with monkeys?
This attitude still prevails today. Recently, the Indian Railways decided to remove Idlis and Dosas from the menu on the trains. Yeah, the South Indians have to survive by having Hot Jalebis with milk (yuck!) for breakfast like i had to during my stint at BITS.
But, don’t worry, my dear Dravidian friends, the time is ripe for a revolt and who else but Rahul Dravid to captain us on this holy war. Rahul Dravid had timed his resignation to perfection. In a way, he knew about this impending struggle and had to resign because, according to BCCI clauses, you cannot be a part of more than one organisation. Forget about Karunanidhi and his DMK, let us march with RDMK (Rahul Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam) led by our beloved Rahul Dravid.
And, anyone who dares to make any further comment on NDTV about Ram Setu, talk to me before you even utter a word …