Building statues seem to be the flavour of the season with every state competing with the other in spending public money on building bigger and bigger statues. This week Maha’s CM said, with an indirect reference to NaMo, “Mine is bigger than yours!”. He later clarified that this was only with respect to the proposed Sardar Patel statue which NaMo was building in Gujarat. Madam Maya later issued a statement that she should take credit for all this spending as it was her mammoth project in UP which kicked off the construction frenzy.
While all this spending was happening in the North, the South was in slumber. After the announcement of the Shivaji statue, they woke up suddenly and today, they announced their grand plan and yes, it will be bigger. In a rare display of Unity AIADMK, DMK, MDMK and all other parties whose names match with the regex (.*)MK came together today at Marina beach and laid the foundation stone for TN’s statue. A spokesperson said,
In the North, they are building statues of people and kings, we will build a statue of GOD. And this GOD, for all of us from Tamil Nadu, is none other than Rajinikanth! Everyone from here, be it from FC, BC, SC, OBC or even BBC regard Rajinikanth as their GOD and it is only fitting that we make his statue as the biggest one in not only India, but also the world.
The main political parties in the south said that they have decades of experience in spending public money. The ping-pong between them when one starts a mega-project and the other party kills it on getting elected has given them immense experience in squandering tax payer’s money.
Details of the statue:
- The statue would be taller than the proposed ones in Mumbai and Gujarat, obviously.
- To be prepared for the eventuality that Andhra will build a bigger statue of NT Rama Rao, the statue designers have put in an innovative feature. Rajini can lift his heel higher and higher so as to always compete with higher statues
- All flights coming in from the North , before landing at Chennai Airport, have to go around the statue in a clockwise direction, thus performing a pradakshina of the GOD and paying their obeisance to HIM.
- Every year, on the birthday of GOD, all politicians will rent helicopters and land on the helipad built on HIS palm. From there, it will be easy to garland HIM. This will also give the politicians the opportunity to raise tenders for few crores for the huge garlands.
- The body colour of GOD is pending payment of few thousand crores from Fair & Lovely, as this can impact the sales of their product in Tamil Nadu in a big way.
The GOD himself declined to comment while his secretary said, “GOD never asks for anything. HE only gets what the people want to give HIM!”
So, whose statue is next?
July is the “sale” period in Pune. Every minute of free time is spent on optimising the strategy for visiting every store with a sale. After having spent practically so much time within malls, i realised that shopping is not chaotic but scientific, very scientific. The images below shows the complicated physics of shopping and its inspirations.
Space is a premium within shops. So, they have found out that the best way to arrange clothes during a sale is to just dump them on top of each other. And, women help this cause by flinging more and more clothes on this dump directly from within the fitting rooms when they find that they are not as small as they think they are. In fact, Mr. Jen Ga got the inspiration for Jenga from watching women shop in Beijing.
Every girl would always get a boy to accompany her to shop. Who else would carry the clothes then? The movement of couples within a shop follows the physics of springs exactly. You should be able to understand this unless you spent your time in school studying the physics of the opposite sex and trying to establish a chemistry. Imagine a girl and a boy as two ends of a spring. The moment a girl moves forward to the next dump, there is a momentary pause and then, due to laws of nature, the boy springs forward towards her and stops at exactly the same distance behind her as she was before. In fact, the first metal spring was made after observing this behaviour.
Oohs and Aahs.
All kinds of parental controls on television are needed nowadays to prevent kids from being exposed to stuff which they are not supposed to hear at their age. Hence, many parents bring them along to the malls. But then, they don’t realise that malls too aren’t exactly kid-friendly. If you happen to suddenly hear an orgasmic meg ryan’ish scream, it is not that a girl is making out with her bf inside a fitting room, it is just her scream of joy at having found THAT 70% off apparel in an “UPTO 70% sale”. In fact, the voiceover of Meg Ryan in the scene was a recording from inside a shop during the sale season.
Thank you for making an otherwise ordinary movie like Vishwaroopam into a superhit. If not for your involvement in the banning of the movie, no one would have noticed the movie’s release and it would have gone into oblivion.
Yes, movies are also a medium for a person to show to the world his creativity and the complex thinking mind, but when it fails to come together into a compelling story-line, it just falls flat on its face. There were innumerable occasions where the message could have been conveyed to the viewers with a “wow” factor, but it just didn’t happen. The guise of a Kathak teacher, the fact that he was involved with the Al-Qaeda, the disclosure of all this to his wife – some of the instances where there could have easily been a “twist in the tale”, but it was as if the viewers were handed over a copy of the script beforehand and told to expect things which were to happen. Dialogues like “who are you, man” (or something similar) which is said by the FBI agent to Kamal after he speaks to our PM were so “B-gradeish”! The concept of cutting back to a scene to reveal what actually happened is so cliched nowadays and i wouldn’t expect such a creative movie-maker to adopt it.
Kamal has reportedly spent dozens of crores, maybe a bulk of it on the sets. If so, i fail to understand why the visual effects, particularly the bomb blasts or the helicopter flyovers were so amateurish that they seem to be straight out of a 2-day effort from a college fest. You probably can get better much effects with cheap software and a couple of chroma screens!
I watched Race 2 few days after watching Vishwaroopam and in spite of being the total commercial movie it is, it had better “wow” moments than the latter. Okay, Deepika and Jacqueline Fernandes were generously shown on screen to keep the audience interested, but then wasn’t it the same with the useless roles of Pooja Kumar and Andrea in Viswaroopam? Kamal is known for his onscreen over-indulgence with the heroines, but such a thing didn’t happen in this movie. So, when a person like Kamal gets two scantily dressed women in meaningless roles into his “magnum-opus”, it looks like even he doesn’t have the confidence in his storyline to keep the audience engaged.
I have been (and am) a big fan of Kamal’s movies, because i think there are not many today who can fit into so many genres and carry them off with such grace. But then, just the display of such capability will not make a movie successful. Yes, i do watch movies for their “star value”, but not just for it. Sometimes a power-star manages something better than a superstar!
Photos of Mrs. and Mr.Khan coming from the court after the wedding
Photos from Saif’s place where the Sangeet ceremony took place
This was the wedding invitation printed for the wedding of Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor.
Below photos are from the Sangeet ceremony which happened on October 14th. Keep watching for the latest photos from the wedding/marriage of Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor.
With the success of Jal Satyagraha in MP, even bollywood actors have taken to this style of protest. Shah Rukh and Katrina wanted to express their dissatisfaction with the censor board by following this novel protest method.